Thursday, March 15, 2012

New York, It's Been Real

So today marks one year since I moved here, my New York-iversary, if you will.  Some days it's hard to believe I've been here that long, and others it feels like I've been here a lifetime, but every day continues to feel like I'm right where I belong.  People ask me all the time, "What made you decide to move?," and I never feel like I have an adequate answer for them.  Nothing was lacking in my life back in Texas - I had an great job where I was getting to share the love of Christ with some of the most incredible kids and teenagers I've ever met.  I had amazing friends and family all around me, and I was really happy.  I wasn't trying to get away from anything or looking to fill any voids by coming here.  I don't even know what prompted the decision, other than I just knew and felt so clearly that this was the next step in my journey.

It would be pretty hard to put into the words the things I have learned in the past year, but since it's hard (some might say impossible) to write a blog without words, I'll do my best:

I've learned the importance of the relationships in my life.  Every relationship I have has been tested this year.  Some haven't survived.  Some have taken on a new look.  I've made wonderful new relationships in the process.  I'm so grateful for all of it.  My family has been so supportive of my move, which makes me love them even more (if that is possible).  They and my friends have called, written, "social-networked", and continued to show me that I am important to them.  I hope I've made them feel the same way, despite my strong aversion to the phone (sorry, Mom!).  And every time I think that I couldn't possibly be blessed with any more amazing people in my life, more continue to show up.  I honestly do not know why God has chosen to give me such an abundance of ridiculously great people in my life, but I'll take it. My cup runneth over.

I've learned that pursuing your passions doesn't always mean pursuing them as your career.  I always thought that because I was passionate about helping the poor and marginalized and working with kids and teenagers, that I had to be a social worker.  It seemed like a logical plan, and I will never question that my years at the children's home were exactly what the Lord had for me at that time.  But what I didn't realize I guess, was that not being a social worker didn't mean I had to stop pursuing those things.  Right now, I am working for a fantastic company (a primary care medical practice) and my day to day is not really emotionally draining in the slightest.  I'm managing staff and making sure our offices run smoothly, and while I work super hard throughout the day, it's not work I "take home" with me.  I love it, and I actually felt a little guilty for loving it so much.  I thought that meant that I was somehow betraying my "social work calling."  But then I began to find some volunteer opportunities in the community, through my church and through other connections I've made, and it all started to make sense to me.  Maybe I'll work as a social worker again, maybe I won't, but it doesn't change my passion or my calling.

I've learned that I am much stronger than I thought.  So many well-intentioned people warned me that living here might not be all it's cracked up to be.  This city can be a tough place to live, and I am just a simple girl from the south.  But it has actually been the smoothest and least painful transition I've ever had, and while I agree that it's not for everyone, NYC definitely suits me.

I've learned that I am much weaker than I thought, and that ultimately, any strength I have is from the Lord.  This would seem like something I should already know, since it is pretty much Christianity 101.  There are so many cliches about how "His strength is made perfect in our weakness", and "when we we are weak, He is strong" and about a million other versions of that same phrase.  But it's all a bunch of talk until you really take a look at yourself and your pride and your depravity and put that into perspective with who He is.  Trying to do things in my own strength is a complete and utter failure.  I continue to screw up over and over and over again because of my selfishness.  There is nothing good in me but Him.  I am learning to be not only okay with, but really thankful for my weaknesses.  It lets Him shine through that much more.

In celebration of this milestone, here is a brief photo journey through some of my favorite moments from this past year.  Here goes:

Hanging out at the promenade in Brooklyn Heights with Sara my first night here
Discovering Sarita's Mac & Cheese (S'Mac), which has now become mine and Angie's go-to place in the East Village.
Getting dressed up and celebrating my new job (before I had actually been offered the job) at Primehouse with Sara, Andrew, and Leticia.  Good thing I got the job because we spent a whole lot of money on this delicious food.
Watching the Yankees get beat by the Rangers while enjoying this delicious hot dog.
Watching the Mets get beat by my Astros while freezing in the rain (still worth it).
Meeting my current boyfriend in the East Village (or something like that).  Sorry for cropping you out of the picture, Sara, Andrew, and Leti!
NKOTBSB in Long Island (don't judge me)
Showing these New Yorkers how to ride out a hurricane and trying to move apartments in the process.  Too bad it turned out to be a total dud.
My sister, Shahla, and Candace coming to visit!  And my first trip to Coney Island.

The real life version of the Macy's Parade

Taking our little Christmas tree home on the subway
Having a little Crusader reunion when the Skaggs decided to crash last Sunday's church service. So wonderful to see them!!
Another question I get asked a bunch is, "How long do you think you'll be in New York?"  Alas, I cannot answer that question either.  Maybe another year or two, maybe a lifetime.  Right now, I couldn't imagine being anywhere else (sorry again, Mom!).

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