Victory

So it's no secret that I love music.  It's definitely something that's pretty important to me. I have dedicated blog posts in the past to my running playlist and my favorite Christmas music, but this one is a little closer to my heart.

I am not a particularly emotional person (some of you are probably laughing right now, because that's actually a pretty gross understatement).  Even the people who know me best haven't seen a whole lot of emotion out of me.  Maybe it's from all the years as a social worker, although truthfully, I've kind of always been this way.  But you guys are not my therapists, so we'll save that for now.  Anyway, oddly enough, music stirs up more emotions in me than I even think I have at times.  It's amazing to me that people I have never met can so beautifully and eloquently express what is in my heart.

About 3-4 years ago, I was dealing with a couple of tough losses.  I was in a pretty big funk that lasted a while.  I was listening to a lot of "angry girl" music that I thought would make me feel better, but I realized it was only making things worse.  One day, I went through my music and pulled out songs that brought me joy, whatever that meant.  Some of them were cheesy pop songs from my childhood/teenage years, but some were truly beautiful songs about grief/loss/relying on God in dark times.  I literally listened to that playlist for about a month straight, and it's amazing how my heart began to change.  I know it wasn't the music itself that did it, but God definitely used certain music and lyrics to alter my perspective.  One weekend when I was Houston with my family, I was telling my sister about it and she said, "You should call it your 'Victory' playlist!"  Because isn't that what it's all about?  Walking in victory, no matter what is going on.

So long story short, my "Victory" playlist has certainly evolved over the years.  I am constantly adding and removing songs.  And honestly, most of the time I don't even listen to it.  It's kind of like my secret weapon.  The last few weeks though, after a pretty lengthy off-season, my VP (I'm gonna go ahead and refer to it as that for the rest of the post bc I am lazy) has been in rotation quite a bit.  Don't get me wrong, I have such an amazing life here in NY - a job that I love and really wonderful people around me - but somehow the same old insecurity, anger, and bitterness creep back in.  So it's good to have music that reminds me of who I am and where my joy comes from. 

Anyhow, I thought I would share a few of the songs that are currently getting a lot of play.  I would highly recommend them adding them to your own music library.

"These Hard Times" - NeedToBreathe

Give me the answer, give me the way out.

Give me the faith to believe in these hard times

** My favorite band ever.  I have seen them live a bunch of times and they are legit musicians.  Their live performance of "Valley of Tomorrow" at La Zona Rosa back in November 2010 was hands down, the most amazing thing I've witnessed musically.

"My Portion Forever" - Matt Papa

Whom have I in heaven or earth?

Only You Lord, only You.

My flesh and heart may fail, but never my Redeemer.

The grass withers, the flowers fall,

but Your promises are sure.

"Cling To You"  - Trip Lee feat. Shai Linne

Lord, it may get better but it may not, so when I pray, God,

I pray I would trust You whether or not the pain stops. 

So when the the pain falls, coming down like rain drops,

I just gotta cling to You

 

"Believe Me Now" - Steven Curtis Chapman

I know all the fear you're feeling now,

but do you remember Who I Am?

**This was on my first VP, which was created just a few months after SCC lost his 5 year old daughter to a horrific car accident.  Talk about someone who knew grief and loss.  Makes his words even more poignant.

 

"The Fight" - Anthony Evans 

You're worth every mountain I will have to climb

These wars raging in my soul and in my mind

cause I'm sure that one day I'll be looking in Your eyes

and that's worth the fight

"Whatever Comes" - Andy Mineo

Whatever comes, whatever go

The Lord's teaching me He's in control

And if I never have anything more

Well at least I got Him, yo, He saved my soul

"Let The Waters Rise" - MIKESCHAIR

I will swim in the deep, 'cause You'll be next to me

You're in the eye of the storm and the calm of the sea

 

"Just Like You" - Lecrae

They say You came for the lame, I'm the lamest

I made a mess but You say You'll erase it, I'll take it

They say You came for the lame, I'm the lamest

I broke my life but You say You'll replace it, I'll take it 

There are some more, but some of them are a little more embarrassing and I am getting tired.  But ask if you wanna know. :-)  Thanks for indulging my serious post, and I promise to have some funny NYC stories soon.

Until then.